What To Consider
I’m sure the title must throw you off a little right? LOL
If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you know that I hardly ever, if never, dive in to the “Relationship” file, because… well, just because I dont! However, often I find myself being the Oprah in my friends lives, and I get asked for relationship advice quite a lot! LOL, Believe you me, I have no idea what it is about me that makes people ask, I mean, I don’t have a smooth sailing track record about relationships myself!
I have learnt a thing or two though, and do not mind sharing what I think might help, if you are considering getting into a serious relationship, or thinking of being serious with your current partner. Now, I’m not trained relationship expert, but people tend to take my advice a lot, so I don’t mind sharing. Use it, don’t use it, that is completely up to you 🙂
5 STEPS TO TAKE BEFORE ENTERING INTO A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP
- TAKE SOME TIME TO UNDERSTAND YOURSELF- KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.
Have you ever heard someone ask you “what do you want?” in a relationship? Or say to you “you don’t know what you want…”. This first point addresses just that. You need to know and understand yourself so well, that you know what you want from a relationship (so what boxes should it tick off for you? what will you accept, and what won’t you accept?). It is very important to know yourself, in all aspects. Know yourself emotionally. Know yourself mentally and sexually for that matter. This puts you in a strong INDEPENDENT place to handle all that comes with a relationship. Once you have that deeper understanding of yourself, then, according to me, you have done the groundwork before laying down a foundation with someone else.
- READ SIGNS AND SIGNALS CAREFULLY- WHAT PEOPLE SAY AND DO
This is another important factor to consider when getting into something serious with someone new. The things they say to you, and how they act around you and such, is EXTREMELY important to take note of. There is a saying that “when people show you who they REALLY are, believe them”. If the person who claims to care for you and wants a relationship with you, but treats you poorly (always cancels dates, arrives late, gives you attitude for it, and often has rude side remarks), take that VERY seriously. It is usually a great indication of what will happen in your relationship going forward, should you choose to pursue it. Even with the good things they do (hopefully), take that very seriously too. Those a factors that help you determine how this person will be treating you going forward. So pay attention…
- KEEP FAMILY AND FRIENDS AT A DISTANCE
Now, here me out on this one. I am not saying cut your family and friends out of your life, lol, NO. I am however saying that if you are seriously considering being exclusive and serious with someone, your family and friends must be kept at a distance. So, psychologically. Not physically. I’ve struggled with this in my relationships when I was younger because I’m so close to my family and friends that I would tell them everything! Not good! The reason being, because you want to be able to protect your loved one from your family (there are certain things about your relationship your family doesn’t need to know, like 80%). When you fight, your family doesn’t need to know everything- that taints the image they may have of him/her. Make your own decisions. Do not solicit the advise of friends EVERYTIME you have a fight or disagreement with your partner. Not everyone has the best intentions for you. So put yourself in a place where you are comfortable letting friends and family know the bare minimum about your relationship. It gives it more privacy, maturity, and no outside forces with a chance to enter and impact which direction the relationship goes. I mean its ok to go for family lunches, dates, vacations with the family, movie nights with friends, other couples- however keep your business to yourself. LEARN THIS.
- MAKE SURE COMMUNICATION IS DONE WELL.
Make sure you communicate well with your prospective love match. This is important. Communication is one of the most important keys to a surviving relationship, because you will be talking and going through situations every single day. So you need to learn how to communicate and ensure that you talk things through. Communication is also being able to talk AND LISTEN. It is not a one way street. Screaming and shouting, is not communication. Engage in multiple conversations with this person first before jumping into a relationship. That way you get to know them a lot more first. Their interests, likes, dislikes, pet peeves, etc.
- BE YOURSELF!!!!
This is so important. Often people start things out by trying to impress and we act like we are perfect, with our hair and nails done to the T, and dressed to the nines always. We go the extra mile to impress. At FIRST, and that’s ok. However, you need to shed the need to impress early on, especially once you’ve begun getting serious and just be yourself. Give an honest representation of who you are, and what you are about. In that way, you leave nothing out, and the person knows that what they see is what they are surely going to get. Ensure that you are a honest and forthright as you possibly can. No one wants life changing surprises 6 months into loving someone. No. So ensure that you are yourself, and take the things you say and do seriously in that relationship.
I hope these help…! Do you have any other tips?? Comment below and let us all know! If you would like to see more relationship related material on my blog, comment below and let me know!
Until the next one,
Live in Light and Love ❤