You know that feeling…. That creates knots in your stomach, makes your heart beat a little bit faster.
Shakespeare’s “Green Eyed Monster“
Ever wonder why people get jealous? Why YOU get jealous? It’s all in the first person form. It’s all about the person that’s feeling jealous- meaning YOU. Yes?
Often it comes from a place deep inside you that you project, or show to others. Sometimes its not intentional, and often you can’t help yourself, but others do it well and can be jealous and you’d have no idea.
It is an INSECURITY.
Being jealous of someone, or something, says a lot about YOU, and reflects as a secret wish to have what that person has, etc. When you are not comfortable with yourself (your body, your house, car, life, clothes, whatever) or in the case of a lover or partner, when you cannot trust fully, often it jealousy will then show its ugly head.
It happens to EVERYONE. If you are human, you have AT SOME POINT IN TIME, been jealous. Many studies show that from the age of 6monthsold, children start to show signs of jealousy. See? It isn’t anything to be ashamed of, but when it begins to impact on the quality of your life, the relationships you have with the people around you…
THEN, it is a problem that MUST be addressed.
You are not alone here. I makes you HUMAN.
There are probably a million ways to coping with being jealous. Given.
I think however the first step to coping with it a little better is:
- ADMIT TO YOURSELF- Admit to yourself that you are jealous. Whether its over her/his body, her/his shoes that you’ve always wanted, her/his looks, car, house, partner, WHATEVER. Take ownership of your emotions and own up to the fact that you are jealous, because frankly people who are jealous, often like to convince themselves that they are not.
- TALK ABOUT IT- This is often a VERY difficult step, because often you are vulnerable to what the other person will think when you share something of that nature to them. If you are jealous of your friends body, and it angers you everytime you see her, remember, she is still YOUR FRIEND. Talking to her about it, might help you open up a little bit more and in fact, strengthen your friendship, but the best part, good solutions could come out of that conversation, this COULD help (Provided your friend is mature enough to handle your situation with a caring heart). If you are jealous in your relationship, discuss this with your partner. Jealousy in relationships doesn’t just HAPPEN, it normally stems from somewhere. Often, it has a lot to do with TRUST (someone having broken your trust in them prior). Speak to your partner, so they can be aware, and hopefully solutions can be reached in how to alleviate that issue.
APOLOGIZE to your friend, lover, colleague, partner etc.
“I’m sorry” says I acknowledge that I am wrong, that my behaviour puts you in diffcult position, but I want to change that, maybe you can help me.
That’s honestly all it takes and someone who loves you, will help you DEAL with it.
- FIND A SOLUTION- Often, this step is difficult too because this is where you have to put what you feel aside, and consider how your behaviour has impacted the next person. They will probably tell you, and its best you LISTEN. At this point, the exchange will help open dialogue into FIXING the problem.
We ALL struggle with jealousy at some point. Its normal. You just need to know the difference between when its ok, and when its a tad over board.
Take it easy… 😉
Live in Light and Love ❤