Made me think however…
How does one deal with loss, grief, pain? Often a lot of the time, the response to that question is, people grieve differently. This is true… But as Earl Grollman said:
A couple of days ago, I went through the 5th year without my mother and her birthday. She would’ve been 50 this year. I realized that I hadn’t blogged in a while, and especially Reflection Sundays, which I thoroughly enjoy writing on. This sunday however, fell on the eve of my mother’s brithday, and I was pretty much in a closed off and difficult place.
Made me think however…
“The only cure for grief, is to grieve…”
Isn’t this just the perfect truth though?
That it doesn’t matter HOW you do it, but you HAVE to do it, you HAVE to go through the motions, feel the pain, let the tears fall, let your heart feel heavy. Let your heart feel like it has been ripped from your chest, and that every part of you is struggling with the simple task of…. breathing.
It hits in various stages: the most common one being
DENIAL- You refuse to believe that that person is gone. You see them at every turn, like how I would see my mother in certain parts of the house, by the stove, in the passage, and just at the moment I’d look, it’d seem like I’ve just missed her. It happens.
ANGER- You get angry, you blame yourself, thinking that there must have been SOMETHING, ANYTHING you could’ve done.
DEPRESSION- You begin to fall into a slump. Food loses its taste, you have no appetite, colours become bland, you begin to lose the beauty you once saw in life and all that is within it. You don’t feel the need to continue, as the source of your engagement in life, and everything in it, is now gone. It just ALL becomes pointless.
BARGAINING- You begin to consider what you could’ve done to change the situation, and what you could do now, at this moment to have that person back in your life again.
ACCEPTANCE- Somehow, life begins to return to some sense of normalcy. Things begin to look different, taste different. You begin to make peace with what has happened and you begin to pick up the pieces on your life and move on.
We let go, and we accept and move on…
Do WHATEVER it takes to help you move on if you find that you are struggling because the death of a loved one can be VERY debilitating. See a psychologist, take some time off, travel, go away, meditate, spend time with the ones you love, to help them fill the void just a little bit. Pray. Go on a retreat, do the things your loved on that has passed loved to do.
“REMEMBER THEM IN MEMORY…”
Understand your grief, but please, do GRIEVE….
It never completely goes away but it DOES GET BETTER.
Goodluck, and all the best.
Live in Light and Love ❤